Hurtful

Alex was on the phone with his dad tonight, and I overheard some things that he said that upset me deeply. I don't listen in on their phone conversations, I feel that this is a time for just Alex and his dad to talk. I don't think that his dad is saying anything negative or subversive, or anything like that. I trust him on this issue.

Alex, on the other hand, always seems to be negative when he's on the phone with him. I know it's silly to be upset by things that a seven-year-old is saying, but I can't help it. All I hear during these phone calls is, "It's boring here.", "Nobody can ever play with me.", "Mom never lets me do anything.", "She always makes me play outside and it's boring."... On and on.

It hurts. It really does.

I am trying my damndest to make things the best I can for Alex, and apparently it doesn't matter to him at all. I try and remind myself that he's only seven, that he usually enjoys himself here, that he's playing with his friends almost all the time, that we do things together as a family. It seems that these bursts of self-pity only come out when he's having a bad day or when things don't go his way, but it's hard to remember when I hear him telling his dad these things over the phone. And of course this makes me feel like a jerk, because what must my husband be thinking when he hears these things?

I don't know, it just sucks.

I think I need to go to bed now.

'Night guys.