Saladbar Rules

The first rule about Saladbar is: You Do Not Talk About Saladbar.

The second rule about Saladbar is... just kidding. Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

But seriously folks, during my employment at what will hereafter be reffered to as 'The Grocery Store', I've picked up some interesting insights into human behavior thus spawning the Saladbar Rules.

1. If I only have a little of something left, people will demolish it. It doesn't matter if they haven't touched it with a ten-foot pole on other days, it will be gone in ten seconds flat and I'll have to refill it five seconds after setting up the salad bar.

2. People. Are. Messy. And I do mean disgustingly messy. I suppose they figure that someone else *coughhack *me* coughhack* will come and clean up behind them so it doesn't matter if they spray parmesan cheese all over the bacon bits and three salads deep on the other side of the saladbar.

3. If I'm low on containers and we can't find them anywhere in the back of the store because my manager never ordered them, people will smell it like blood in the water and flock to the salad bar so they can complain to the managers about how badly run it is.

4. Untensils migrate. You would think that it wouldn't be difficult for someone to figure out that a utensil is meant to be used for the food it's placed in, but apparently that's much too mentally taxing for some people. They just don't understand why you can't use the cottage cheese spoon to scoop out strawberries. ::shudder::

5. Utensils walk. Now this one I really, truly, do not understand. Why in the world someone would want to walk off with tongs or a large salad bar spoon, I will never know.

Our salad bar prices things by the pound.

$5.99 to be exact.

No, I'm not kidding.

Yes, it's ridiculously expensive.

Yes, people will pay for it.

Occasionally.

Which leads me to rule number six of the salad bar:

6. If someone's put too much stuff in their salad bar container, apparently not noticing the $5.99/lb sign (which is very large, and obnoxious, and therefore, difficult to miss) it is perfectly acceptable to stow said salad behind things, on a shelf, in another part of the store, where it won't be found until the night crew stocks the shelves, and it will have ample opportunity to get throroughly disgusting. Lovely.